Gossip and slander

James 3:10-12
Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

Recently, fellow blogger snow.on.the.sahara had been subjected to much slander and damaging gossip in her work place. It didn’t help that that a certain Moomoo didn’t let her have her personal ranting space to herself, and subjected her to more false accusations.

This led me to think of what was written many a thousand years ago by James the brother of Jesus. He was stating the common happening of that time, and I think, a very common even nowadays too, which was of people who can sweet talk and yet badmouth other people at the same time. Now that seems to be referring to every Dick Tom and Harry we know of around us, but according to James, this shouldn’t be. He gave a very good illustration of a spring. Now imagine you go to some Sungai Gabai or waterfall, or hot spring for that matter, you would expect the water to flow out of one source, therefore the water would be one kind. It cannot be a mixture of salt water and fresh water. Just like the sea is full of salt water, it cannot be half mixed with fresh water.

He gave another illustration of a tree. To localise it, can a mango tree grow durians? Neither can a rambutan tree bear guava fruits eh? In the same way, out of our mouths cannot come praises and curses at the same time. We’re either talking good or talking bad….so we really shouldn’t slander and gossip. Now, why shouldn’t we gossip. Hey I must admit I catch myself gossiping all the time, sometimes I make excuses that it wasn’t really gossip, but informative talk. For example, when I talk about this friend of mine who’s attitude I dislike with other people, I might comfort myself that I’m really just informing my other friends to advise him, but in fact that is really gossip. That’s because it’s not a praise, it’s a negative comment about somebody that is possibly damaging. Yea that’s my definition of gossip. Sometimes I feel bad about what I say, so I try to stop, but it’s not easy. I really gotta zip up coz gossiping can become a habit! In fact, I realise, participating in gossip is not just being the one talking, it can mean just listening to it. It’s bad enough. If you keep listening to someone talk bad about someone else, it’s really damaging to that victim, coz you would begin to believe it, little by little.

I mentioned in the above blog that I was once a helpless victim of someone’s decision to gossip. Without doing nothing, I was been scrutinised, judged and talked about behind my back, to the extent that those who didn’t know didn’t want to know me, those who were close to me boycotted me. And all that was the cause of gossip, and the initiator being one of my closest friends. It was a tough time, eventually, she too fell victim to more circulating gossips and was boycotted too, till she had to flee the scene. Well, after so many years, all is forgiven. Yea I still remember what happened and the pain and all, many nights of tears, but now when I meet up with her, I don’t have any grudges left. It has taken time to heal, but we’re friends again, by the grace of God who forgave me, I was able to forgive her and vice versa. It was something I couldn’t have done on my own, seriously!

Anyways, so that’s how terrible gossip can get! It takes friendships away, tear lives apart! If you realise you’re participating in gossip, even one that seem petty and couldn’t hurt anybody, STAY AWAY from it! I’m fighting the urge everyday but I know it’s got to stop. Your one little comment that leads to misunderstandings and mounting up to huge affairs can victimise pure innocent souls. Hey even if the person is not innocent, let us not be the judge, for we too will be judged one day. Cheers.