My First Love

This morning, my pastor was supposed to teach us some leadership course, but he changed his plans when we came in and spoke to us what I think God told him to speak to us about. What he shared led me to reflect on my first love.

Basically, he shared with us about the reasons why we are serving, what kind of answers to the question WHY can we give right now when people ask us why we serve in church, at work etc compared to maybe ten years ago when we first started serving. Most probably when we first started serving, we were excited, because we were so in love with Jesus and we wanted to do it all for Him. But many years down the line, under lots of pressure, many disappointments, are we still doing it out of love, or just because some expected us to, or just because it’s a job, or just because we have no choice, or just because no one else would do it? What is the first thing that comes to mind? Well, my pastor said, if it’s for one of those ‘just becauses’ above, then we are definitely backsliding, or losing this first love we had with Jesus. It takes a lot to maintain it.

Well, as he was talking, my mind drifted to the first time I said YES to Jesus. And that was a loooong time ago, when I was no more than 9 years old. I was in ITS, an English tuition school in Kuching, we were all ushered out of our classes and gathered in the main hall, as our teachers told us we had some guests. Turned out, the crew from Doulos had come to visit us and wanted to perform for us. I guess I can never forget that day, as one of the crew, a lady shared about love. Her first love, and how simple it is we can have it too. Being 9, it is so easy to trust what someone else said. She told about how she changed, how her life changed being on Doulos, and how just simply asking Jesus to come into her heart, things changed. I guess I was a miserable 9 year old, I wanted CHANGE. So, sitting on the floor, in my heart I prayed and asked Jesus into my life. When all the performances were over, we were all given a New Testament bible and some freshly baked bread. The day I met my first love who came and never left.

Snapping out of the past to today, I can only say God is faithful and keep to His words. However, sadly Doulos is no more. The last time I was on the ship was probably more than 10 years ago back in high school, I will miss it, I am sure many met Jesus on the ship and through the life of the many crew members.