Warning ahead: I was writing about my long long history of my life!
I grew up being called weird, messed up, talented, creative, surprisingly funny, smart, ugly, a friend, counselor, too cool, or cold, etc.
My growing up days can make a book, maybe a depressing book. I was a depressed kid. At 16, I constantly find myself sitting on my mum’s kitchen floor starring out the window, dreaming of disappearing forever. There were days on end that I stuffed myself with chocolate cookies till I gained 10kg. My parents keep loads of brandy, scotch and more in the house bar, which I had free excess to. I walked the earth without a destiny that I knew of, I questioned my existence constantly, the favourite quote was probably, What is life?
I didn’t see it at the time, but I did have a destiny, and so does everyone who was born into the world, from the kid that goes to boarding school, to that kid that has everything, to that boy that was found in the garbage, was denied education growing up, and abused by the woman who adopted him as her slave, to the man that jumped from the building, we all have what is called Destiny. Question is, did we seek it enough to find it?
As a young girl, I considered myself a free thinker. What does that really mean? I was not an Atheist, as I believed in everything. My dad was a Catholic who was bitter with the Roman church. My mum came from a Buddhist background but didn’t want to devote herself to anything. So I thought I was free to believe in anything. At 14, I decided I needed to be devoted to a religion. I chose the Catholic church, and got into class, baptism, church and the works. Religion felt good, for a while. Religion gave me a rule to follow, a line to hang on, some hope.
However, I was saved way back earlier. I was probably 8 or 9 when Christ came into my life. I was in tuition school, and the good people of Doulos visited and shared their testimonies. I remember oh so clearly what a blonde hair girl shared, how her life was changed, turned completely when she ask Jesus to come into her life. At 8, I knew my heart was empty, I desired so much for this Jesus who could turn my life around and make me something new. So as she led us in prayer, I prayed the salvation prayer. I asked Jesus to come and change me and make me something new.
Needless to say, I lived in the world, and forgot about Jesus. I didn’t know or realised if I had changed a bit. Until I was 14 when I thought I was Christ’s follower finally. I was religious, I prayed with the Rosary daily, I prayed the Rosary especially when I want things to turn my way, especially when I was watching ManUtd’s match!
It wasn’t until I left home at 19, I went to university in Selangor, far from home. I left home for the first time, and I felt free. I met new friends who strengthened my faith, and at a student’s camp, I rededicated myself, and truly told God I wanna get serious, believing in Jesus and being a follower is not just about going to church, it is more than that, it is about salvation for others, about the great commission, about what Jesus said before he resurrected, to go into the world to preach the word, making disciples…
I got serious, I started serving, I was happy, I had hope and I had purpose. My destiny was laid out, there were decisions and many choices I had to make all the time.
Today I work in the church, but the church isn’t an organisation, a building, a company. Maybe we are set up like that. But essentially the church is people, the people God called to love Him, to serve Him, to reach out, to help the poor, the widows, the orphans, those that can’t help themselves.
What is my vision? I wear many hats in the church. Officially I am the Admin Assistant, I assist the administrative part of the work I believe. I also help with the technical side, websites, design etc. I’m part of the worship arm of the church, coordinating the worship services. At the same time, I also coordinate our little bible college of a class a semester, it isn’t hectic for now.
Sometimes we have to run events, concerts, seminars. I love doing it, it totally stresses me out and stretch me to my limit.
What is my vision? I love to see young people passionate about reaching out, especially through practical means like helping the poor, contributing to programs out there that already exists, like Worldvision, Habitats, that is giving hope to the hopeless. It takes so little on our part, but plays a huge role on those being helped. Can you imagine that your RM50 gives education to a little girl who would have been begging on the streets, who might have been forced into prostitution to support her life and her family of 6? Can you imagine? Why are we living good lives, when there are people suffering out there? Is it not our destiny, since we are blessed to bless others? We should stop looking inwards, at the loans and bills we have to pay, and contribute even just a little, because it does make it difference. Why are most of us young working people still complaining about our income, when we have four wheels to drive, when we work in comfortable offices with air cond, when we have clothes and shoes on our feet, when we have a roof and and spring bed to go back home to, when we have entertainment, when we can have six meals a day if we want to, when we have too many clothes to fit our small wardrobe, when we have much more than we really need to live another day, what does it mean to reach out to those in need? My passion, my vision is to see all the young people of our generation and beyond, to start realizing this need the world has, meet the needs, they need our help, and then they need to hear the good news of what is beyond this life they live. The good news that there is an eternal life in heaven that is perfect, that there is a paradise awaiting. My vision is to see young people not just giving their money, but giving their lives, their talents, their time into seeing something change, using music, drama, creative arts, bringing whatever God has given them in their talents, giving it out that the hopeless can have hope when they watch it, see it, hear it. Bringing this message of hope out of the local church into the world and beyond. We are the salt and the light.
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